You are currently browsing the monthly archive for May 2008.
FORMULA:
10 lbs. of carrots + 8 lbs. of apples = someone bought a juicer at a Memorial Day yard sale.
Carrots photo courtesy of Claudecf, from Flickr
Apples courtesy of Gio JL, Flickr
Everyone who knows me is well aware of my interest in true crime. It may go back to the days when I wanted to be a CHP officer (my mother always insisted that it was due to my crush on Erik Estrada, whose character she annoyingly called Poncho, instead of Ponch…)
I think it’s because I was brought up watching all sorts of law & order types of shows. My dad was always watching Gunsmoke (Marshal Dillon reminded him of his hero, John Wayne. Though it’s a Western, it was about a Western cop, so I’m including it here), Adam-12, S.W.A.T., TJ Hooker (William Shatner, how cool), Columbo, and of course, CHiPs.
I always loved these shows and added Dragnet re-runs to my list. Now I watch CSI Las Vegas & Forensic Files. Last night’s episode of Forensic Files exposed a guy who poisoned his wife by placing diethylene glycol, or antifreeze, in her food. The narrator stated that antifreeze has a distinct odor and flavor, and exactly how the murderer concealed the poison in his wife’s food would not be revealed on this program.
Naturally that annoyed me but I understood why they didn’t announce it. I said to The Man About The Place “No worries, I can probably find it on the internet.” With a distinctly worried look on his face, we watched the last part of “Suitable for Framing,” a classic Columbo episode, before going to sleep.
This morning I decided to look up anti freeze/ diethylene glycol poisoning to see if I could discover how this guy pulled it off (purely for curiosity, I swear!) The first article I found was much more horrifying than a single psychopath poisoning his wife. This
involved the poisoning of many, many people – diethylene glycol was substituted for glycerin in a Chinese factory because it’s much cheaper.
Only problem is, the glycerin was meant for human consumption – in medication. America haters claim the United States is such a big bully in the world arena – yet, unregulated factories in China have quietly poisoned the world, through cough syrup, gall bladder medication, toothpaste, pet food.
Melamine in wheat gluten. More and more of the products we buy are coming from China – not just general merchandise, but food and pharmaceuticals. The products COULD be “Made in USA” but with Chinese acquired ingredients. What more must happen before something is done? What can be done?
Maybe the real terrorists to concern ourselves with are not hidden in the hills of Afghanistan or Pakistan. Maybe we should think about the silent, slithery, sneaky terrorists trying to poison us all with the things we need the most – food and medication.
This article was about Panama. Will the USA be the next target? We’ve had it with our pet food and with toothpaste. What’s next? Breakfast cereal? Cough syrup? Just a morning ramble – hoping my coffee is actually from where the label says it’s from…I never did get to find out how the guy killed his wife though. The Man About The Place can rest easy for another day.
9/18/08 UPDATE – WELL WE FOUND OUT WHAT WAS NEXT. MELAMINE IN BABY FORMULA.
In case you missed the link, read this: From China to Panama, A Trail of Poisoned Medicine
More Frightening Stuff – It Happened Here in 1937 Lethal Medicine
Another blog: Hey Obama, McCain: Whatchu Gonna Do About This?
Sunny 105 is the only radio station I listen to while in the Soccer Mom / REALTOR Car. (Though we don’t do soccer, The Man insists it’s a Soccer Mom Car.)
Were I a more devout Christian, I’d listen to K-Love Radio or something. But the name K-Love creeps me out, making me think of hippy stuff from the 1960’s that a good Christian woman would never be involved in. Or I think of the old K-Tel records formerly advertised on TV. I don’t know what this confession says about my inner character, but hey.
I only listen to Sunny 105 in the morning when Doc Roberts is on. Doc may not know it, but he and I go back a long way (hoping he doesn’t read this and think of Play Misty for Me – I swear I don’t shriek like Evelyn!)
Doc won’t remember me from his days as “Mark Roberts” on WLSP, Carbondale’s “Lifestyle Country” 94.3 FM.
But he’s the last existing shred of my high school social life. He may find that alarming, as do I…I had very few friends and very strict parents; my social life consisted of cheap blank cassette tapes & my Sears stereo.
I wasn’t popular in school, probably due to my adoration of Conway Twitty. (Don’t laugh; his real name was Harold Lloyd Jenkins!)
I tuned to WLSP both for the music and the DJ’s: Joe Coleman, Gordon Knight, George P. Schmitt (who sang an awesome rendition of Tom Jones’ Say You’ll Stay Until Tomorrow), Bill Buckingham, Mark Roberts, and my most adored Dave Skyler Tyler.
A girl in my school claimed she was dating Joe Coleman. We argued over this in class, resulting in my accidentally punching one of my few friends in the mouth. I KNEW Joe Coleman, darn it, (after all, I met him at the Wayne County Fair!) and he was NOT dating her!
- Note: Bet you never realized how crazy DJ fans can be! Watch Play Misty for Me and be educated.
I called Skyler every night – along with other radio-heads like “The People at Gentex”, “Half-Wit”, “Half Wit 2nd”, the girl referenced above, and “The Rascal.” I was “Karen from Pink Wig.” (I’ll spare you the lame explanation.) I usually requested Conway Twitty or Exile. I was SO excited when Skylar called my house one time (never wondered how he got my number) and said “Hey, Karen, how would you like two tickets to see Exile??” AND I GOT TO SEE “THE RASCAL” AT THE BROOME COUNTY ARENA!!!!
My heart broke when Skyler left WLSP.
I called “Gordon Knight” every time he was on too, I think it was Saturday nights. I usually requested either BJ Thomas’ Whatever Happened to Old Fashioned Love or Conway Twitty’s The Rose. I often thought of BJ Thomas as country music’s answer to Barry Manilow.
These radio guys were a pre-internet social network. I liked hearing that Rascal requested Lee Greenwood just to irritate Skyler (he hated Lee Greenwood). The People at Gentex wanted to hear Alabama.
Those radio days are all but gone, and I admit I’m a streaming radio junkie, but Doc Roberts in the mornings helps me hang on to my past just a little bit.
Thanks Doc!
Uhhh…does anyone want to know what a colon massage is? Or a colon center? A colon massage center? I really don’t.
Passed this sign in downtown Honesdale one day last summer. I am amused by the words chosen. I saw another one in Hawley that advertised “Used Music and DJ Service” – which of course begged the question – aren’t ALL DJ’s “used?” Unless you happen to be his first gig?
All over the Northeast PA, I see signs that just make me snicker. “Building Supplys” is a good one; another one is “Edith’s Hair Stylist.” Who is Edith, and why should we care who her hair stylist is?
Misplaced apostrophes are another favorite: “All Sort’s Of Rug’s To Choose From.”
I also enjoyed seeing a sign indicating that a business had moved “Next Door to Galinksy’s” – however, the neighboring business was Glinsky’s. Oops.
I know – this post is full of grammar errors too. Glass houses, throwing stones, all that. Difference being, I’m not trying to advertise my business with it. That’s my other blog. This one is just for good plain snarky fun.
For reasons I shall not explain, I was on a website that consists purely of jokes. I got a kick out of the “Email This” link – it said “If you do not value your friendships, send this joke.” Ha!
Then I saw an option for “Jokes by Phone.” Are people so lonely, so desperate for messages and communicaiton, that they need to get text messages from a joke generator? Makes you wonder how many of these busy looking executive-type people are actually
reading jokes on their phones, rather than hashing out important, last minute details of a pending contract as they would have you believe.
Imagine: You’re having lunch with your friend when his phone alerts everyone in the vicinity that he has received a text message. His face grows serious as he says “Excuse me, this is important, I’m sorry…” and in reality he’s scrolling to find the punch line. He purses his lips and slips the phone back in his pocket. “It will have to wait,” he says with all seriousness. “I will have to deal with it at the office…”
Hmm.
The Man of the Place and I had an impromptu date tonight. My good friend called to invite our son to see Prince Caspian with her son. Thinking quick, I offered her more money to take all three of our wildebeasts children along. The silly woman agreed!
So The Man and I ended up over at The Shoppes at Montage, a new shopping center “over Scranton way”. After spending a half hour or so wandering around in The Guitar Center (The Man is a musician, of course) we
decided to eat at Johnny Rockets, against our better judgement.
The last time we were there, I had the opportunity to have the worst apple pie in my life. I had never tasted such tasteless apple pie. Well, it was tasteless with a bit of a salty overtone (or undertone…). The coffee was good though, and since I live for coffee, the night wasn’t a total waste. However, I did the unthinkable and actually left most of my apple pie on my plate and filled my tummy with several more cups of coffee.
So anyway, we decided to go to Johnny Rockets to spend the $28 left on our gift card. I do like the 1950’s do-wop atmosphere, and was eager to pretend I was a teenybopper in a poodle skirt and saddle shoes. The best I could do was order a cheeseburger, fries, onion rings, and a milkshake. The Man told me that milkshakes were for dessert, and I told him he was born in the wrong era. Richie and Potsie always had shakes with their burgers.
I finally know why the staff at Johnny Rockets comes out every so often to line dance and make fools of themselves for the restaurant patrons: it is to distract us from the completely tasteless organic matter that is supposed to be our meal.
Never in my life have I left French fries and a cheeseburger on my plate. Until tonight. The strawberry shake was good, as was the coffee I requested to replace the meal I could not eat. The Man was happy with his chili dog, though.
From now on, it’s either The Boathouse on Lake Wallenpaupack, or Red Robin in Dickson City when I’m hankering for a burger. If only The Man would croon Blue Velvet or something while I ate – but you can’t have everything.
I have a feeling that the stupid category is going to be the one with the most entries.
Tonight, my 12-year old daughter (herewith known as Teeky. Don’t tell her, though) was invited by her band teacher to participate in a concert at another school in our district. This is a smaller school and Mr. M needed another clarinet player.
Teeky was a little nervous because she hadn’t been to this school before, and she was uncertain about finding her way around, even though Mr. M assured her she’d have no trouble. I told her not to worry, someone inside would direct us to the band room.
As soon as we went inside, we spotted a custodian, standing with his hands in his pockets, shooting the breeze with two ladies. I smiled and said “Excuse me – could you please tell us how to get to the band room?”
He laughed incredulously and pointed at my daughter. “Doesn’t she know where it is??” he said, unable to contain his laughter. Teeky turned red with embarrassment.
“As a matter of fact, no she doesn’t. She’s never been here before. She was invited to play tonight with the band.”
“Oh, she’s from the north school?” he asked, still not telling us where the band room is. “Why?”
At this point one of the other ladies interrupted and said “Come on, I’ll show you where it is…” and she kindly took us to our destination, while Uriah Heep kept his hands in his pockets and continued to snicker. About what, anyone can guess.
You would expect an immature display like that from a kid, maybe – but then again, maybe not. When you ask an adult for such simple help, you don’t expect to be ridiculed and interrogated.
Just tell us where the band room is, okay?
Am I unAmerican for saying that I want the Democratic Presidential primary candidates to GO AWAY? Please, why is this taking so long? Why did the Republicans get finished so much sooner? Is McCain THAT attractive? Had the Republicans had a Dynamic unDuo like Nobama and Shrillary, would they still be going at it too? (shudder)
Forgive my ignorance, I don’t delve into politics very often. It just seems unnaturally long for this primary thing to be going on…but maybe I was just very unobservant in the past. When will it be OVER?
Though I will say, I think it is pretty cool that I bowl wayyyy better than Barak Obama – of course, I guess you’d have to be really bad to be beaten by him. (Pssst…my average is about 56.)
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not totally anti-Democrat (I do like some of them) and I’m most definitely not pro-Republican either (I don’t like most of them.) My vote is going for Ron Paul, because how can you not vote for someone with two first names?
I’m just tired of the “Will Senator Obama win? Can Hillary overcome this?” blah blah blah.
While we’re waiting for the answer, let’s head over to the Glider Diner in Scranton for a hearty sausage and pancakes breakfast; I hear Senator Obama was served more than he could eat when he was here in NEPA, wooing the Scrantonian public.
PS – another thing I hate about politicians. They think we’re stupid enough to lap up their tripe about “being for us” and “this is our home too” and all that nonsense when they’re trolling our towns. Right. Okay, whatever.
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Credit: Photo originally uploaded to Flickr by squishyray
