Toilet Paper and Politics – Bear With Me

NOTE:  This post originally appeared on my MySpace blog in 2006.  I liked it so much I decided to resurrect it.

I had a diary when I was about thirteen, which I wrote in fairly regularly, and I’d love to see it again, though I do remember some of the entries, and I know they’d make me squirm.  I worked so hard to hide it from my mother that I lost it myself.

I found a fun diary online, that made me laugh and laugh and laugh…it brought back memories of being nine years old:

Amy’s Diary (Dairy)

I remember one particular day in my young life was very very bad, and it started out horrible.  I wrote:

“Today was a bad day. I knew it would be when I went to the bathroom and dropped the toilet paper, and unrolled all over.”[sic]

My, how easy life was for me.  Now, I’d know it was a bad day if I dropped it in the toilet, and it was the last roll we had, and my hubby and kids were all banging on the door because they had to go.  Now, THAT would be a bad day.

Well, since I’m on a toilet paper kick (and somehow, I need to tie this in to my title that has something to do with politics), I just learnt a valuable tip from one of my buddies on the (now defunct) Coffee Sinners Thread on Crosswalk.com.

When you run out of coffee filters, according to Utilityfielder, you can use TOILET PAPER to line the basket.  As he said “Paper is paper…”. And for added dietary benefit, Eutychus helpfully added that since the toilet paper dissolves in water, we can have lots of added fiber per cup.  Who knew?  As for me, well, I’ll just have a cuppa cowboy coffee, thank you.

Dennis HaysbertWhat does this have to do with politics?  Well, for me it’s not that much of a stretch; you use toilet paper for a dirty job (unless it’s for coffee, the nectar of the gods), and politics IS a dirty job (unless you are 24’s David Palmer, whom I not-so-secretly support for President, and his assassination a few “hours” nearly two years ago has me still in deep mourning and shock.  I have a deep burning desire to go purchase All State insurance, simply because HE  tells me to)

*shhh  those voices in my head are messing up my concentration*

Ahhhem.  Anyway, Politics.  Today in the car on the way to school, we were listening to the radio, and of course had to hear an ad for some woman running for state senate.  A former state senator was endorsing her, saying how wonderful she was.  Some doctor claimed she helped fight cancer, diabetes, obesity, toothaches, and the chicken flu for twenty years.

Former Governor Tom Ridge shared that he picked this woman because she was, among other things, “intelligent” and “smart.”

And you sir, are redundant and sound like a buffoon.

But my daughter asked, after the commercial was over, the most important question of all:

“But does that lady put good things in food?”

Children everywhere, like mine, who suffer from having inept cooks for moms, want to know.

Dear Diary image courtesy of Incurable Hippie on Flickr, via Creative Commons licensing.

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